thepath2eternity

Dear Society,

There’s never an easy way to tell someone this, so I’ll just cut to the chase.  I’m leaving you.  I’ve found someone else.  Actually, it’s always been about Him, I just mistakenly let myself get distracted by you.  What should I say?  It’s not you, it’s me?  Or maybe it’s more accurate to say it’s not me, it’s you.  I’ve heard people say it’s best to just make a clean break; no need for dragging it out with a long monologue of reasons.  But we’ve been together for so long; I feel there is need for an explanation, for closure.

This really shouldn’t come as a surprise to you.  I’ve been pulling away for a while now.  You see, being with you seemed exciting at first.  It was a series of temporary highs.  There was the fun of partying, always followed by regrets and a hangover.  There was the thrill of climbing the ladder of success, but I never seemed to reach whatever it was supposed to be.  There was money, and fancy stuff, but attaining it only created another hole to dig myself out of.  Every time I fell, you weren’t there to help me.  You were only there to make sure I knew I wasn’t trying hard enough, or that I wasn’t good enough.  Nothing I did was ever enough for you.  Trying so hard to please you finally broke me completely, to the point of sheer exhaustion.

That’s when I found Him again.  He is patient, and kind.  He does not envy, does not boast, and is not proud.  He does not dishonor others, is not self-seeking, is not easily angered, and keeps no record of wrongs.  He does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth.  He always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres (1). When I fall down, He doesn’t mock me.  He comforts me and then picks me up.  He offers me constant love.  He loves me so much, that He actually gave His life to save me from you.

What are you offering me?  A false sense of safety?  A weak version of freedom?  Temporary worldly comforts?  Not good enough.  Would you give your life for me?  Doubtful.  You’re not even willing to give up ice cream so that others may have clean water (2).  You seem content to watch some people suffer while others enjoy your temporary highs.  I don’t want to be a part of that anymore.  I want my life back.  I want to give it to someone who is interested in love, relationship, and being together for eternity.

I have no doubt you’ll try to stop me.  You’ll likely throw obstacles in my way.  You’ll knock me down to try to prove He’s not there.  You’ll try to convince me that being with Him is too difficult.  But it’s too late for that.  I’m stronger with Him than I ever was with you.  With Him by my side, I can face whatever you throw at me.  Because I know He is with me, and I know He will defeat you.

Or maybe your plan is to just let me go, hoping I’ll go quietly and just leave you alone.  Well, you would be wrong about that.  I promise you’ll still see me around.  I have no intention of going away quietly.  I can’t stand by while you deceive everyone else, pretending to have all the answers.  I have every intention of exposing you for who you really are.  And here’s the thing.  I’m taking my family with me.  I simply won’t allow you to corrupt my children anymore.  I will stand in your way.  And we’re not the only ones.  You had me convinced for a long time that I couldn’t leave you because I would be all alone.  But you lied.  There are actually billions of us.  More and more of us are waking up every day.  Unplugging ourselves and our loved ones from the matrix you have created (3).  I’ll admit it’s heartbreaking at times to know the truth and still watch people I love be slaves to your system.  But I will be ready to help them unplug as soon as they choose it.  And I won’t stop exposing you until every last one of them chooses to be unplugged.

So while I would be perfectly happy to completely walk away from all of it, I’m going to hang around. I’ll live a simpler life for certain, even if it means standing out in the crowd. But you don’t get to forget about me completely. Not because I can’t leave all your luxuries behind, but because I’d rather use them against you. I’ll have more success in the middle of your mess, fighting from the inside, then banging on the glass from the outside.

The irony is that you have actually helped prepare me for this.  I’ll never say there aren’t good tools or good people out in society.  It’s how you manipulate us to use those tools and those people that have turned things for the worst.  The tools that you taught me to use in the climb for success…multi-tasking, prioritizing, planning, extreme problem solving…those things had the power to control my life, and they almost did.  But they also have the power for good.  I am now fully prepared to use those skills for an amazing cause.  Social media?  Your favorite way to spread shame and coveting and slander?  Yeah, I’ve been out there.  I know how to use it too.  Do you know how many people I can reach on social media?  And when I share with my friends, who share with their friends…have you ever heard of the term “going viral”?  It can be used for good, too.  We can now reach the corners of the earth faster than ever before.

You may think I’m failing when some people hide me from their Facebook news feed, or they shy away from me because I have changed so drastically.  I know I’m risking that some of them won’t want to be around me anymore because they think I’m crazy.  But I’m so in love with Him that I’m willing to risk it.  And I’m not failing.  I’m planting seeds.  Seeds that will be there when you fail them, and they are ready to accept the truth.

So no, I won’t be leaving quietly.  And I won’t be alone.  And I can see the fear in your eyes.  You’re fighting back harder than ever before, with weapons of sin like we’ve never seen.  It’s carefully clothed to deceive us.  But I’m not blind anymore.  I can see your ship sinking, and I’m getting off that ship.  Forever.

Maybe you’re a little shocked, because I’ve never spoken this harshly to you before – mainly because I always wanted you to like me.  But now I’m just mad.  Furious about the time you convinced me to waste – time that I could have spent with Him.  I’m fuming about all the lies you tell, the deceit you use, the manipulation of otherwise good people.  I feel so stupid for falling for it for so long.  For thinking you had answers for filling all the gaps in my life.  But you never could.  Only He has been able to fill every gap, every crevice, and every hole with faith, hope, and love.

Breakups are never easy.  It has taken years for me to work up the courage to leave you.  And it’s especially hard breaking up with someone like you, who is literally everywhere I look.  Someone who is so ready to entice me back with an easy solution or a quick fix.  Someone who knows all too well how to use shame and fear to keep me cowering in the corner.

What’s the name of the One who has stolen my heart away from you?  His name is Jesus.  He’s my Savior.  He is Christ.  Messiah.  Lord.  Immanuel.  Counselor.  Teacher.  Rabbi.  The Alpha and The Omega, The Beginning and The End.  Don’t try to blame Him for the fact that I’m leaving you.  It’s not His fault.  All He’s ever done is offered me a choice.  This is MY doing.  This is MY choice.  And I choose Him.  I choose love.  I choose real freedom.

Sincerely and never again yours,

Missy

1. See 1 Corinthians 13.
2. This is a reference to Rob Bell’s NOOMA video, Rich.  You can find it on flannel.org.
3. This is a reference to a blockbuster movie series called The Matrix, which (whether it intended to be religious or not) first showed me the concept of society being a false reality.

PS – Every good breakup needs a song.  Here’s ours, Break Free by Ariana Grande, so you can really internalize how I feel about this.

If you want it, take it
I should’ve said it before
Tried to hide it, fake it
I can’t pretend anymore

I only wanna die alive
Never by the hands of a broken heart
Don’t wanna hear you lie tonight
Now that I’ve become who I really am

This is the part when I say I don’t want ya
I’m stronger than I’ve been before
This is the part when I break free
‘Cause I can’t resist it no more

You were better, deeper
I was under your spell
Like a deadly fever, yeah, babe
On the highway to hell, yeah

I only wanna die alive
Never by the hands of a broken heart
Don’t wanna hear you lie tonight
Now that I’ve become who I really am

This is the part when I say I don’t want ya
I’m stronger than I’ve been before
This is the part when I break free
‘Cause I can’t resist it no more

Thought on your body
I came alive
It was lethal
It was fatal
In my dreams it felt so right
But I woke up every time

This is the part when I say I don’t want ya
I’m stronger than I’ve been before
This is the part when I break free
‘Cause I can’t resist it no more